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| A Journey Into a Past Life ~ In Conclusion |
| I arrived at my friend's mother's home and we sat and talked for a while so they could get a picture of what was happening on a daily basis. Then we went into the living room and they placed me at the point of a triad. In other words, the two of them were sitting about 4 or 5 feet apart from each other and I was between them at about 7 or 8 feet away facing them. They asked that I not close my eyes because in doing so I would be on the same space or plateau as they were and could interfere with the process. I zoned out, but with my eyes opened and thought of nothing just listening to what they were telling me. They saw an army of men who had captured me. They saw the men hang me from a tree, but that wasn't all, they subsequently cut me into many pieces, and scattered them, so that my people would not be able to gather enough of me to give me a proper burial. I was crying by then, so they thought that we should stop and have another go at it later. We had more tea and talked about how I was feeling and then they explained that what they saw had caused my hatred of the 'whie world' and that the anger had come back with me this time and it was around my ankle like a ball and chain that had gradually wound itself around my ankle making it shorter as years went by; the dragging of that ball of hatred so close to my ankle making it difficult for me to move around without hurting myslef. Then they asked if I was ready to meet my ancestors. I did not know that they were going to do this! I was petrified!!! I said I didn't think so, that I was fearful of what they would say to me. I had no clue as to what to expect. We talked some more and then they asked me again. I said ~ "Oh, what the hell, I might as well, since I've come this far. What could they do to me now?" A few months before, I had a "naming ceremony" done by my Chief, honoring me with the rite of passage into the Elders' Circle, just some months prior. The name that I was given was to be used exclusively and that I was never to acknowledge my birth name and that from then and forevermore, I would be known as Xielolixii. At that time, I believed that my ancestors would be happy about it and since I had heard a voice telling me what I needed to do, so I never worried much about it ~~ until now! I got worried when I was asked to actually meet them in the spirit world. I envisioned them to be pointing their fingers at me, accusing me of not doing what I should be doing, not doing enough, or of one thing or another. But that was not the case. |
| Lisa and her mother, put me in the middle of the room again, just as before, and then they told me to close my eyes and tell them what I saw. I began to cry as I saw many people, about 4 or 5 abreast, row after row after row of them, hundreds, if not thousands, coming into the room from my right dancing around me in a circle, counter-clock wise, singing, and saying my name in a chant. (I'm crying now as I write this because of how this touched me so). I tried hard to see their faces, to see if I could recognize anyone, but they had their heads covered with what looked like either elk or deer hide draped over their heads and sides of their faces. The first few rows of people had horns coming out each side of the hides that draped over their heads ~ not sure what that was about. I could not see directly into their faces. Their faces were not visible. As the ancestors danced, I saw myself in the center of the circle, getting smaller and smaller.... Lisa and her mother compared what they saw which was basically the same thing except they were seeing the circle from the outside of it and saw different colored ribbons being waved as they sang. At. that time, they decided to bring me out of it. The healing had begun. The ball of anger was still attached, but a mile or so away. I was told then that I needed to return for another session of which I still havet o do. I look forward to this next one, because since then I have learned to meditate, forgive myself and others in my past and to move on. To accept all experiences as lessons, creating a better inner self, and not to blame any one person for what they have done, but to accept it all, since they were doing the job they came her to do,and why they were put in my life to do it ~ to get me to this point in my life. This is how I see things now, and it is not to say that all people willl see it that way. But that's o.k., too. I just want everyone to know that everthing happens for a reason and even thiough we don't understand why, the answer will come when you can accept it and understand it. To my past and my future and everyone in it ~~ Love and Blessings Xielolixii |
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